Monday on Today 8/13

Hope you all had a fine weekend. It's a holiday here in RI, but I think we're the only state that still celebrates Victory day--formerly VJ day, or Victory over Japan day. Most people I know still have to work since it's not a national holiday anymore. I missed a bit of The Today Show today due to the terrible twos. My daughter just turned two last Wednesday and now she has to cry and scream all the time. Well, maybe not all the time. Only when I'm trying to watch something on TV, talk on the phone or write anything. Thank God she still takes an afternoon nap. Anyway, I'll start with the weekend box office:
number 1) Rush Hour 3
number 2) The Bourne Ultimatum--last week's number 1.
number 3) The Simpsons--last week's number 2.

Today's Exclusive showed a clip from earlier in the show where Meredith Viera interviews the dumb bastard who got caught cheating and is suing 1-800-flowers for 1.5 million dollars because they sent the receipt from the flowers he sent to his mistress to his home instead of his office. Right now I can't think of a bigger asshole on the planet than this stupid idiot. Even president Bush looks like a genius compared to this guy. After Meredith grilled the stupid son-of-a-bitch and his lawyer, Natalie Morales was back in the studio with sexologist, Ian Kerner and former district attorney, Jeanine Pirro. She said from a legal standpoint he doesn't have a leg to stand on. Obviously he doesn't have any moral to set either, as Ian Kerner pointed out. He also said that the cheating bastard--don't know his name and don't care to--claims breach of contract in his lawsuit, but what about his breach to his marriage, which is more important. They both say this is one of dumbest people they've ever seen to bring one of the lamest lawsuits of all time to the courts. What a selfish prick to waste the court's time while trying to capitalize on his own infidelity and stupidity.

The next segment was called Admissions 101: How To Get Into College. And this is where my two year-old really started laying into me about her demands--she has quite a few. Anyway, I missed most of it. Al was talking to someone who named some colleges and what they're best known for. I'm sure they have the list on their website at http://todayshow.com/. I didn't get the "how to get into college" aspect of this. It just looked like a list of some lesser known universities around the country.

Today's Classroom featured Makeovers For Teachers. I wish they'd give us a few more weeks of summer before constantly bombarding us with back to school stuff. Anyway, the first teacher went from long, straight hair to a short bob. Victoria Beckham but more wearable. Yet it's still a bob and not exactly a care-free style. I had one a few years ago and thought it was the worst haircut I'd ever had. But that's just me. The next teacher had long curly hair and got a nice looking cut that really got rid of that triangular look that most women get with curly hair. Though the cut looked great, they straightened the curls out so you won't know what it will look like if she feels like letting it dry naturally and maybe not spending her entire morning working on straightening her hair. These are teachers, not talk-show hosts. They don't have a personal hairdresser at home to make them look gorgeous before appearing before they class. And do they really need to look fabulous for a bunch of five-year olds? The next transformer went from super long hair to a shoulder length coif with bangs cut in. That was a real improvement for her. I loved that cut, but I still wonder if these styles can be duplicated at home by busy teachers who have more important things to do than fuss with their hair.

Next up was Nip/Shop: Plastic Surgery At The Mall. How vain are we that we need to get botox and lip injections at our local mall? These Medi-Spas are popping up around the country and have some plastic surgeons concerned that people are taking these procedures too lightly. As one doctor pointed out, getting needles filled with bacteria injected into your face is not the same as getting a pedicure. But that doesn't stop people from doing it.

Today's Style had Adam Rappaport showing men how to Suit Your Shape. For instance for short men, don't wear jackets with pockets and try to avoid belts. All that tends to cut you off. Tall men should stay away from pinstripes which tend to elongate. And you should wear a belt if you're tall. Also avoid over sized padded shoulders. Isn't that obvious unless a guy wants to look like Herman Munster? For large men, he suggested keeping your jacket buttoned while standing and avoid plaids and checks. Also, always tuck in your shirt and no skinny ties or lapels. For the athletic type, he suggested low collars and then ran out of time. Sorry athletic guys. You'll have to visit the website for more tips.

And that's a wrap. There will be no post tomorrow because I have a funeral to attend. Till Wednesday.